The Midnight News 6.15.01
Posted By Hyatte on 06.15.01
Foley, Real Live Jap Stuff, Chyna, DDP, Steiner, A wrestling term defined, swag, and comments from someone new.
Okay then....
I'm Chris and it's another column. I am quite recovered thank you very much.
Ow... last night.... well... it wasn't pretty.... but you kids seems to LOVE it... you enabling li'l bastards, you.
Lots of news to hit tonight, so let the plowing begin.
FOLEY'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
Mr. Laughaminute Scherer is crowing about an "EXCLUSIVE" Interview conducted with Mick Foley. As of this writing, it is the 57th "EXCLUSIVE" Interview ol' Mick has given. That boy wants to sell his BOOK!
Alas, Dave has made it loud and clear that ANYONE who steals, lifts, references, or talks about the Interview online will get sued for copyright infringement.
What I WILL tell you is that it's a good interview.
I will ALSO tell you that Mick has not totally and completely ruled out a return to the ring, but NEVER as a full time player.... only as an "Andre The Giant" attraction. It won't happen anytime soon, but Mick inferred that William Regal needs a beating.
Mick also said that he had a long talk with the Rock over their problems... and things seem to be settled.
Mick also said that he would LOVE to be involved with the new WCW, he feels he can be a bigger impact player there than in the WWF.
I think I will one day actually write to 1bob and ask for the expressed, written permission to post these things.... they might even say yes.
JAP CRAP
Boyoboy, Zach Arnold must be experiencing his first erection.... EVER.
It seems that Mrs. Baba, who runs All Japan Wrestling will sell the entire she-bang to Antonio Inoki. Inoki is part of a huge conglomerate that runs New Japan, thus Antonio Inoki will be the most powerful man in Japanese Wrestling. (yes, but can he overact a GULP???)
Both companies started at the same time, 1972. All Japan was created by Giant Baba. Baba and Inoki became fast rivals and many blood feuds stemmed from this. In fact, when several wrestlers from one company jumped to another.... the angle that resulted from it was stolen by Eric Bischoff, who used it to form the NWO. (I think... like I pay attention to the Japs)
The two companies had one huge "Mega-Match" twenty years ago, but that was it. The rest of the time, they tried to shut the other company down.
Then Baba died (keep eating that Blowfish and *WHAM, the odds are bound to catch up to you). Mrs. Baba took over. Mrs. Baba ran it for a while, but decided that she doesn't like wrestling. So she's selling it to Inoki.
Basically, this is the WWF buying WCW, only all the parties involved have very squinty eyes.
When will Inoki start a Japanese Football League?
Who says I can't do pureso? Ya bastards!
Oh, and RF Video is currently creaming themselves because they broke this story.
JOANIE LOVES CHACHI
This is a three site team-up here.
1bob reported that Chyna is currently filming a movie called Frank McKlusky C.I. where she plays "Freeda: a menacing gatekeeper of the company's classified files with a very unique fashion sense"
The Fashion sense is that she is in a catsuit for the whole deal. No, not Josie and the Pussycats, a black, skintight, leather ensemble.
In Conjunction, her Highness did a brief interview with Entertainment Tonight.com. Where she acts COMPLETELY FULL OF HERSELF:
-The Interviewer asked what was with the catsuit. Chyna responded: What do you mean explain the catsuit? I don't know what you are talking about. It is just another day in the life of JOANIE. Now people get to know the real me. This would be a typical house-cleaning outfit -- easy to clean with a little Windex.
The interviewer re-asks the question, Chyna answers: This is a latex outfit. And believe me when I tell you this baby is skin-tight. What you see is what you get because there is not an ounce of air between the latex and my body. I feel very, very naughty.
Then she starts to hiss like a cat
The Interviewer went on to ask how her character is different from the Catwoman. Chyna said, What I am is a woman with very, very bad taste. The best part in playing Freeda -- for me Joanie -- is I happen to love costumes and makeup. In this movie, I get to wear every kind of costume and imitate celebrities very badly. I wear a little Madonna outfit, the famous Jennifer Lopez dress and the Catwoman outfit, amongst other very horrible outfits.
The Interviewer asks if Chyna is at a "crossroads" in the WWF. Chyna responds: I think I am definitely at a crossroads with the WWF. I am one of those people who are extremely happy for their roots. I know what that platform did for me, and I think I really have been able to display a strength and a power and be a real inspiration to women out there in the television industry, but there is only so much I can do now. I don't mean this in a bad way, but so many women are not in the same league as me. I have been training and wrestling men for five years. Now it is very difficult. I can't go through the top guys -- Rocky would never let me beat him. It is very difficult for me to develop a program with the women right now, too, so the best part about the Chyna character now is she is more of an attraction than anything. I think the more acting skills I get under my belt, or the more modeling that I do -- as Joanie -- just gives me an opportunity to progress in my career, which is what I want to do as a person.
Finally, the Interviewer asks how important it is for Chyna to become JOANIE!!! Chyna says: Absolutely. I always have to remind people because that is what they see on TV every week. You start to become known as your character, and I make no bones about it, Chyna is just a character. My name is Joanie and I am a completely different person from my character. I would like to be me.
You know... both Joanie AND Chyna appear to be in desperate need of finding some diarrhea in their gym bag.
She's starting to believe her own hype.
Meanwhile, RF Video says that this movie she's in also stars Scott Baio and Dolly Parton. So expect Chyna to show up for the Premiere at her local Blockbuster Video Store, because that's right where it's going.... unless the USA Network picks it up.
Oh, and Ain't It Cool says that the word out in Hollywood is that Chyna might be in Terminator 3.... Arnold really likes the idea too.
I hit the big parts of the interview, but you can see it for yourself here.
YOU SAY POTATO, I SAY POTATO
In regards to last night's drunken stupor where I posted Lance Storm's "grading" of certain web guys, and wondered what a "potato" is... (I remember NONE of this, by the way. In fact, the only Online memory I DO have is a bare memory of sending an e-mail to CRZ).
Anyway, reader Bob Grady explained the wrestling meaning of the word "potato"... I figured if I didn't know, a lot of people didn't know either, so it might be cool to find out.
A potato is when a wrestler actually hits another wrestler with a full force blow. this can occur from a botched spot, or from being Rick Steiner.
Thank you, sir.
AN OLD FART, A HEBREW, AND A PAIR OF KNOCKERS
Pencil in both Kidman and Torrie Wilson as being a part of the new WCW, whenever the damn thing gets going. Like Dallas Page, Kidman has some kinks to work out on his old contract before it's official.... but it's going to happen.
Meanwhile, Page is eager to get his part going. See, with HHH and the Rock away, Dallas sees a primo real estate spot up there in the main event, and wants to get hop right all over it. He's been testing the WWF rings and getting used to them.
This was more fun from Scherer. See, Meltzer and Keller are in Newsletter mode right now, so Dave gives up all the good stuff.
I'M YER CELLMATE, LEMME SEE YOUR SNAKE, BOY!
Jake Roberts was arrested in Ohio today. He was involved in an auto accident and left the scene of the crime. He was also drunk.
I don't know what's sadder.... this news or the fact that this news is again coming from 1Wrestling.
The good news is that Jake might finally get cleaned up.... after all, how can you get drugs in JAIL??? (*snort... heh)
STEINER SIDELINER
If it ain't 1Bob, it's RF Video, who reports that Scott Steiner is WAAAAY more injured than anyone realizes, and it will be quite a while before he is able to return to the ring. So he won't be mangling the English language on the first WCW show.
CANADIAN SWAG
I don't know... I thought this was pretty cool, actually.
Stampede Wrestling is selling some Hart Bros University shirts and sweat tops. Graduates and trainees in the Hart Dungeon wear them all the time.
Now, instead of a WWF shirt that looks silly, THIS might be something cool to wear. I mean, if you want to be a Mark, be a Mark who buys specialty items. Anyone can wear a "The Game" t-shirt.... but to wear a shirt that only hard core fans will recognize is way better.
here is where you can pick one up.
Gee... *I* would like one.... how about it, boys??
BUT, PLUGS
Sean McCluskey LOVED Smackdown last night, and shares his joy with everyone in the Official 411 Recap.
Opinion articles a'plenty tonight.... tons of stuff.
First of all, Ben Morse has another Mean column which examines Billy Gunn. Even Aristotle thinks Gunn ain't worth sheeit.
Second of all, Josh Nason banged out another href="http://411wrestling.com/columns/headlines/91.shtml">Fight Club. Josh discusses the need for Dusty Rhodes' TCW company and why it belongs in our lives. Compelling case, he do make.
Third of all, Widro continues his dramatic and triumphant return to column writing with another Voice of Reason. Widro says that Steve Austin is a GREAT Heel and explains why I am his hero. More expert commentary from the one man who can really throw me off-line forever.
Sniff around the 411 Newsboard and find that Trivia thing. I damn well totally forgot to grab the link.
And if you kids who mess around in the 411 Fan Forum stop being egocentric, douchey little feebs, I might just take THAT thing over too and totally clean house!
Finally.... Honky gets a break while we get some words from another Wrestler....
BRITISH BULLSH*T
Here are four comments taken from The Dynamite Kid's Web Site:
On the Iron Sheik:
From knowing Kasro in the 1980s, to me, he’s always looked like he was having a baby. His age then or his age now makes no difference to me. He was a prick. With the right people he was a good person, for his own benefit.
On Dutch Mantell:
I enjoyed wrestling in Portland Oregon. It made a change for a while. As far as Dutch Savage goes he turned religious. Dutch would do interviews and more or less preach to the people about alcohol and drugs. Having said that, he would go back to the dressing room and buy Halcyon from Rip Oliver.
On Matilda’s whereabouts:
Matilda the Bulldog was bought and owned by Vince McMahon. Every venue we went to we took the dog with us. Matilda was a good dog, but now no doubt she will be dead. All said and done she would be about 17 years old by now.
And on the Honky Tonk Man:
Wayne Honky Tonk Man Ferris-you could always walk that walk and talk that talk, but your wrestling ability in the ring was total bullsh*t. I'm sorry Wayne, but the truth hurts doesn't it?
Well, let's see if Honky has a response to THAT?
Could he REALLY put a crippled guy on his "Ass Whippin' List"? I guess we'll find out.
I'm gone for the weekend. Widro will come up with something sometime within the next two days. I'll show up again on Sunday with news, stuff, and Message Board nonsense. Try not to miss me TOO much.
This is Hyatte